A few months ago, I lost my job at the city. After feeling pretty bad about myself for a little bit, I decided that losing the job would be a turning point for me, something to propel myself forward and maybe even the sign I needed to take this thing I actually care about seriously. That has proven itself to be harder than I knew it would be, and I knew it would be hard. Steady income is something I've been spoiled with for the last ten years or so and suddenly, that's gone. It's all on me, and how much I put into it. It’s hard for me to talk about that with anyone in my life, it’s hard for me to admit any kind of struggle, and it’s proving even more difficult for me to move forward. (With that being said though, if anyone knows of any part-time opportunities during the week my line is very much open heyyy)
I am in an incredibly lucky position (I love you Jackson!) where I don’t necessarily need a full time 9-5 in order to make ends meet and I realize how lucky I am for that everyday. I don’t need much to be happy, and a fun day out for me is a free walk through the woods. However, the looming shadows of adulting are creeping up on me and I have hit the wall of realization—I need to do something. I need health care (*screams*).
BUT! This also means I now have the capability of running this business the way I have always intended to. I am able to be intentional with my time, give myself more to what I am making, and in turn, fall in love with photos on another level again. I was mainly shooting film photos while still employed full-time, and I would love to stay on that groove. SO I will now start offering dedicated film sessions to my packages for the ones who are specifically searching for the warm fuzzy feeling of 35mm. I believe this will set me out from others in my craft and allow me to offer something unique and intentional in which I am fully hands on with. It will also let me get back in touch with the physicality of photos and the creative aspect that I fell in love with in the first place. I’m looking forward to cultivating my craft and dedicating more of my soul to something that truly matters to me and seeing where that enthusiasm may lead me in my future.
It’s one thing to dream about it, to talk about it, write about it, but it’s another thing to sit down and start doing it for real. That’s where I want to be different this time, I want to be consistent. I have spent my whole life scheming these massive dreams with absolutely no way to get me there, and it’s gotten me a whole lot of nowhere. I'm sure my fellow creatives can relate to that feeling every once and a while. Sure, I have done countless shoots and made incredible connections over the last ten years, but I have been wholly inconsistent. Which, in turn, has caused me to fizzle out of the scene and lose contact with those connections that kept me inspired. I believe it was community that kept me involved for so long, and I miss that. I want to make it more of a priority moving forward to attend and maybe even plan some photo meets again. Step outside my comfort zone, learn something again, and make friends through art again.
Planning for shoots, I want to make it more of a priority to discuss and define exactly what it is clients are looking for in the photos they have booked for. This means having scheduled phone consultations included in the contract I send upon booking/deposit, dependent on the person on how they would like to do those consultations. We can meet for coffee and discuss it, hop on a zoom call and look at mood boards, talk about expectations on the phone, or even simply have a text conversation if that is what’s preferred.
I don’t want to make too many changes immediately, but I do want to start building this up with the knowledge and experience that I have picked up over my decade of experience taking photos. I have many ideas; things I have been working on that I am excited to tell people about. I know I have a gift-- I know that I am meant to do something with it, I always have. Drop by drop I will water this plant back up from the ground, and make it something that blooms like it never has before, dammit.
